Thursday, October 2, 2008

Updates

Must be v. quick about this. Am blogging from bathroom of creepy scientist who thinks I'm some woman named Barbara. Also knows I'm from Beverly Hills and says he "created" me.

V. disturbing.

Anyway, past few days have been eventful. Crazy Gorgeous Hottie Petrelli was officially sworn in. Both happy and sad about this - on one hand, my evil plan worked, and now Dirty Old Man Malden can kiss my perfectly-sculptured ass!

On other hand, this means I'm officially on Petrelli's staff, so will be MUCH harder to get on(/in/around/over/under) his... staff. Am sure you know what I mean by this. :)

Sadly, could not ogle him during his acceptance speech, as was busy freezing random plants in my apartment. Don't judge. Must practice in order to pursue career as superhero, because the world needs to see me in a skintight leather outfit.

Oh! Have also embarked on first superhero mission - went to New Orleans where I saw dead body of Niki Sanders. Can now sort of see the resemblance, though of course, she is much uglier (largely because of horrific burns).

Also saw her annoying little snot-nosed brat of a kid. Horrible hair, but at least was useful enough to direct me to Scary Mad Scientist Doctor. As such, did not freeze kid, and actually attempted to be nice to him.

Besides, shattering = too good for him.

Must sign off now, as Scary Doctor is coming. Must type faster so as not to arouse suspicion.

XOXO (quietly)

Superhero Tracy Strauss